Liberal PETA Lunatics Now Trying To Tackle The Amusement Park Industry…


Oh, the humanity! PETA, the self-appointed guardians of animal virtue, has bravely taken on a new cause: saving children from the treacherous clutches of animal-themed carousels. Yes, those innocent rides at carnivals and amusement parks are apparently now tools of exploitation, according to the animal rights overlords.

In a stunning display of concern for the carousel critters, PETA penned a letter to Chance Rides, the largest manufacturer of carousels, based in the heartland of Kansas. The organization, with its keen grasp of anthropomorphic intricacies, declared that using animal designs on carousels unwittingly perpetuates the exploitation of sentient beings with feelings, affection, and a penchant for carousel-related existential crises.

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk, the voice of reason, stated in a press release that children must be saved from the trauma of animal-themed rides. After all, teaching kids to have compassion for animals is the cornerstone of creating a “just and merciful world.” Move over, global issues; carousel animals are the true battleground for justice.

But fear not, carousel enthusiasts, for PETA has a visionary solution! Instead of those outdated animal designs, Chance Rides should embrace a new era of carousels featuring cars, airplanes, spaceships, bulldozers, and other riveting forms of transportation. Because nothing says whimsy like a carousel of bulldozers, right?

Founded in the archaic year of 1961, Chance Rides has yet to publicly respond to PETA’s heartfelt plea to revolutionize the world of carousels. In the meantime, children everywhere are at risk of being scarred for life by the trauma of joyfully riding on a carousel horse. Oh, the horror! The carousel revolution is upon us, and PETA is leading the charge into a future where bulldozers and shooting stars reign supreme. All aboard the whimsy train, folks!