Well, well, well, if it isn’t the latest installment of the Hunter Biden saga – a true masterpiece brought to you by the Biden Department of Justice. Brace yourselves, folks, as we delve into the riveting details of the president’s son allegedly turning his phone into a scrapbook of drug-induced delights.
According to the court documents filed by good ol’ Biden’s DOJ, Hunter apparently fancied himself a photographer during the cozy months of November and December 2018, capturing the glamour of what they so delicately term “apparent” cocaine, crack cocaine, and a smattering of drug paraphernalia. Because nothing says family values quite like a well-documented drug bender.
Now, it’s not just your run-of-the-mill illicit substances; the filing graciously includes snapshots of the alleged drug festivities. Lines of what could only be described as cocaine grace some sort of surface, and a box that seems to house even more goodies – because, you know, Hunter Biden likes to keep things interesting.
But the plot thickens! Our dear Hunter faces not just one, but several felony gun charges. Allegedly, he pulled a classic move on a background check form, swearing on the sacred document that he wasn’t addicted to drugs. I mean, who wouldn’t want someone with a penchant for photographing their drug exploits to be packing heat?
PER DOJ: “During November and December 2018, [Hunter Biden] took multiple photographs of videos apparent cocaine, crack cocaine, and drug paraphernalia.”
Pictures: pic.twitter.com/SmDvREF6eX
— Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) February 13, 2024
A federal grand jury, not amused by Hunter’s antics, indicted the 53-year-old scion last year for his gun-related shenanigans. If convicted, he could be looking at a cozy 25 years behind bars and a hefty $750,000 in fines. Quite the tab for a little family album, isn’t it?
After the not-so-surprising “not guilty” plea, the judge laid down the law for Hunter’s release – supervised by a U.S. probation officer, job hunting, and a strict ban on drugs and alcohol. Because nothing says rehabilitation like a court-mandated babysitter.
But that’s not all! In a separate criminal case involving taxes – because, of course, why not? – prosecutors couldn’t help but point out Hunter’s delightful spending habits. Apparently, between 2016 and October 15, 2020, our tax-evading enthusiast spent his hard-earned cash on a little bit of everything: drugs, escorts, luxury hotels, exotic cars, clothing – you name it, he bought it. Everything but his taxes, of course.
So, there you have it – the Hunter Biden chronicles, where family photo albums are filled with lines of cocaine, firearms, and the occasional tax evasion charge. Another day in the life of the Biden dynasty.